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Internet Science™

I didn't forget about this website immediately after setting up my server. I was going back though the years of absolute hogwash and adding tags. So now everything has tags. It wasn't worth it.

I don't know why I made this, but I am sorry.

If I taped it together right, it’ll give oats to horses…horses in need. Most of the design was subcontracted out, but basically it’s got a few places where fire comes out, a brain made of SGI Octanes I found in a hole, and a whole bunch of winches. With all this in mind, I flicked the switch to turn it on. Its one red eye glowed to life. Suddenly, the sky was torn in half, screaming, by stabs of searing white lightning. Children died. Thousands of people slept alone. The rats! I lost my car keys. With a deep rumble that shook the Earth to its core, the machine rose to tower above me. “Hey.”

~

I arrived to find that the Oatey Barn had been almost completely bought out of oats. I bought a squeezy chicken dog toy, because they're every bit as good as the ones made for humans, and left, following the oat machine down the main road and into the hills. It had made its way to Horsey Barn, the rural hangout of the well-to-do. I could see its red fuselage, vaguely reminiscent of a huge cereal box with a can of soda taped to the back, towering over those stupid, stupid horses. It began to give them oats as they stared pessimistically back at the 200 foot robot. It started peaceably enough. It deposited a small pile of oats at the feet of all the horses. Another pile, and another. The horses, becoming full, stopped eating. This angered the machine, which in the interim I had named Freddy, and Freddy began shooting oats. Not in any general direction, mind you, just everywhere. Small birds scattered through the dry grass as the oats kicked up dust all around them. The horses scattered, unable to combine their powers to form the SuperMule and mount an effective resistance. I took cover behind my Dodge Melonnaise and hoped for the best.

“Tonight on Trathnona Maith, a gentleman from Wicklow supports sale of coloured hair dye to unmarried teenage girls. We talk about the sea.”

It's a little different around here. After waffling about it forever, I finally decided to set up my own server. It's a Mac Mini co-located in a real data center that I didn't make up, with 16 GB RAM and everything on an SSD, so I think this place should be a little faster, and the much-better software means I can update more often. The server can also replace my previous VPN and mail services, which is nice. The downside is that, to the extent that this website was ever organized, it is now really unorganized, so I'll be going through and organizing things, fixing images that didn't survive the import, and so on. It's also kind of broken just now, but only minor stuff like, um, permalinks. Sorry 'bouts the mess. [caption id="attachment_1586" align="alignnone" width="580"] insert internet juice[/caption]

Well, that was kind of a bust. I got a new camera and went to go test it on a hike. Took a long time to get there, trails were closed, then it started raining heavily. But driving around the hills in the rain is nice.

R. Monkeys requested a pink Game Boy Color with cats. Okay!

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